It's a MAGA Party at the Lake

We are laughing so hard we are crying. It’s one big celebration here in (Texas, Florida, Alabama, West Virginia, Idaho, Wyoming, and Oklahoma).

The libs, pundits, and intellectual elite said it couldn’t be done. Not only was our Trump’s first presidency improbable because of the allegations of rape, sexual assault, affairs, porn stars, hookers, bankruptcies, and charges of fraud. Putting him and his buddies into the White House a second time after his felony convictions? Mission impossible.

But Hoohah! -We did it!

Trump is a decider like Dubya was. No pouring over data. No worry about our treaties and agreements with foreigners. What kind of idiot U.S. President was stupid enough to sign those USMCA trade agreement papers anyway?

And we know, a friend is someone who gives you stuff. Like rare earth minerals or the rights to build Trump Tower Moscow, or Kushner Gaza Beach and Fun Resort. A friend tells you what a great leader you are. A friend wears proper clothes when meeting with the King and even makes things up about your political opponents and others you don’t like.

Trump says what he thinks. He orders something and makes it happen. He doesn’t stay up nights thinking about court rulings, the Constitution, and the law. Those are just weak stupid liberal traps established by people who are jealous of us and don’t want us to have great things. Trump smashes them all, hahaha!

We are partying hard because we get to keep our guns! Of course, we kept them through the Kenyan President's two terms, and sleepy Joe Biden’s -but we were worried you were going to have to pry them from our cold, dead, hands.

We party on because our judges are so awesome! Who cares about stupid laws when they know how to spot a good deal like some luxury gifts from friends? And you don’t have to hurt your head thinking about legal research and precedent. You only need to think “What will help my President?”

We party despite the return of predatory fees from payday loan companies, banks, utility companies, and others. This is America! Everyone has a right to make a buck.

We are partying on despite the return of weird, obscure pricing of stuff. Like my cousin said she bought a ticket to fly here and got a great price: $29! (read that and weep blue stater). She felt a little weird being charged $300 for her bag, but she needed her medications and it cost airlines extra to load that stuff (probably some greedy labor union involved). And to think those libtards created an entire Federal agency, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to demand “transparent pricing and fairness”. Stupid liberals -all you need to do is read the fine print so you don’t get ripped off.

It’s a big party at the Lake of Liberal Tears because we read and watch the news too. It’s not just you blue state liberals with your libraries filled with banned books that make you transgender when you open one. We are free to watch, listen, and read, okay, I mean watch and listen to whatever we want.

The music is so awesome here at the Lake! GREAT AMERICAN GUITAR is WHITE ON! And now we have Dance Fever!

We hope it’s Dance Fever, because none of us are vaccinated!

Now OUR President is going to make those foreigners pay our taxes for us -hahaha foreigners!!! Tariffs are like when we built the great border wall and made Mexico pay for it. Now those freeloading Canadians can pay too. And yeah Europe, go ahead and tariff us … more Budweiser for us, not you!!!

People are complaining about abandoning our allies. Well, what have you done for the good old U.S. of A. lately? Besides, with any five-night stay at any Trump Hotel around the world you can collect Ally points (also now available with any Tesla purchase).

We’re party’n because we finally have a Justice Department that will make anyone who is or was mean to our President pay. Judges who are mean and don’t let him or his good friend Elon do stuff to save us money. So-called journalists who write fake, made-up, bad things about our guy. Media outlets who have the nerve to print or broadcast mean stories. The Constitution is like hundreds and hundreds of years old -it doesn’t need defend’n.

We’re partying because we aren’t going to be sending stuff to foreign countries who don’t care about us anyway. Why should every day be Christmas for them when we have stuff we need here?

We’re dancing in the streets to Cat Scratch Fever because finally all those illegals who were coming through the border bringing drugs, stealing our women, and taking our best jobs are being rounded up and sent back to wherever. And when some of those illegals had little illegal babies born here claiming to be USA citizens -you’ll go back to, well, I guess not where you came from but someplace that’s not here.

We’re happy that our President is getting rid of all those deep state Inspector Generals. They were just troublemakers who saw corruption, fraud, waste, and illegal things every time they opened their eyes. Instead, our best President in history has the greatest advisers and smartest Cabinet ever assembled!

We’re going to save so much money now that our President and Elon are firing all the Feds. “You’re fired!” Hahaha!!!

None of them were coming to work anyway, they were all staying at home, probably reading some Kenyan so-called President’s autobiography or playing World of Warcraft together with our tax money. We don’t need any food inspectors. We can look outside and see if the air is ok -bye EPA and all your protect’n of endangered squirrels and whatever. And who cares about the National Park Service?

Disneyland is a park and it does pretty well without the Feds, thank you very much. And I’ll let you in on a secret. All you old people getting Social Security checks -guess what -that’s not DOGE-efficient. No productivity. You want money -you need to work for it like the rest of us. Same with your Medicare. And Medicaid -we give healthcare to poor people? Guess what -after we kick out all of the illegals (and anyone we don’t like … using a law from 1798!) there will be so many jobs you can choose from you won’t be poor anymore.

We party hardy Marty, because even though the cost of eggs, coffee, hamburgers, and hotdogs are going up -our President told us it’s because of sleepy Joe and Our President would never lie to us. And they said the same thing on Fox News, and then later on Fox & Friends -this means the news about inflation and prices -it’s proven that it’s Biden’s fault from multiple sources. Besides, we won! We beat those blue-state eggheads! Stupidly thought they could make Kamala Harris President. Where’s she from anyway? We already had one President who claimed to be from “Hawaii”. Yeah right. We’re not falling for that again.

We are celebrating because Our President and his best friend (who just happens to be a genius Billionaire by the way, no, the South African, not the Russian) are like Batman and Robin. We want Canada. We want Greenland. We want Gaza beachfront! We want a leader of Ukraine who understands the greatness of our King, I mean our President -and bows down appropriately -like every remaining member of the GOP Congress.

Our fun soiree is because real Americans want to prioritize taking care of the poor, hungry, and unhoused here in the United States -not in some "S*&thole" Country. (Just kidding, hahaha we don't care about the poor, hungry, and unhoused here in America).

And we are whooping it up because now our kids can get a voucher and go to WalMart K-12 schools instead of some rotten public school classroom overcrowded with 55 other kids being indoctrinated into wokeness and coming home each day a different gender with a bunch of banned books filling up their bulletproof backpacks. And we’re sure that when school tuitions increase and the vouchers don’t, Betsy DeVos and others will be right there to provide K-12 student tuition and student lunch loans at competitive interest rates that can be paid back over your child’s lifetime! Easy peasy!!!

And we are going to be a kick-ass nation again. Diplomacy is for wimps. If we see something we want -we take it. Are you listening Canada -or do I have to say it louder, in Canadian? And if someone even looks at us the wrong way, hell will rain down on them. Let them all be jealous and hate us as long as they fear us!!!

Forget about all that stupid woke stuff about rights. Our President is so perfectly fair, we can trust him to make sure we are great again. And who’s going to enforce your rights anyway? Our AG Pam Bondi? Our Supreme Court? Hahaha, you’re in MAGA country now. We’ll tell you what is good for you -or Kristi will shoot your puppy.

So what if some billionaires pay less in taxes? Our President will just order more money to be printed, or will have a genius plan no one else can figure out (not even those Nobel-winning economist intellectual elite eggheads), that will Make America Great!!! - by taking all the money in Social Security and buying DOGEcoins -then we will all be billionaires!!!

So ‘Murica -find parking as soon as you hear our music, cause the lots are full and we are partying at the lake!

No, not that lake. This one: